Come On Baby Light My Wire
When my family celebrated Christmas, one of the first things we did to welcome in the season (aside from eating all the chocolates out of the Advent calendar) was put up our lights. In each window, my...
View ArticleReturn to Sender
Children all across Canada are brokenhearted this Christmas because of one “rogue elf.” And because socialized medicine is destroying their country. The post office and police are searching for an...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Cat Ate Your Blog
Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like they’re stuck in February 2005? Yesterday, my blog decided to go all Quantum Leap on me, rearranging my posts in reverse chronological order so that the...
View ArticleSeeing Green
So I’m off for the holiday season after a week of dealing with a very non-cooperative blog. Bad blog, BAD BLOG! I expect that I will celebrate Christmas much like I have in the past: drinking pinot...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Walkin’ in a Whitey Wonderland
If you liked Kristallnacht, then you’ll love the new 2008 Original Khristmas Kross from the American Family Association!! Express your Christian faith while insulting the blacks and Jews in your...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Presents of Mind
The holidays are upon us and, as a native Virginian, I will be heading north in order to celebrate with family and friends, and play with my nephews, and by “play,” I mean the old “Get Auntie Drinkie...
View ArticleBack in Blog
When I headed up to DC for the holidays, I brought my laptop with me, having every intention to work a little in between freezing my ass off caroling and actively participating in a living nativity...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Snot
With every day of good health, I become increasingly confident that I am immune to the H1N1 virus due to my superior genetic code. Or perhaps because I’ve already had it, as evidenced by my all-out...
View ArticleHow the Immigrants Stole Christmas
When I get in the holiday spirit, I tend to become exceedingly giving and generous. That’s why this year I’ll spread my goodness to the less fortunate among us by buying presents for the poor little...
View ArticleCookies of Christmas Past
When I was a little girl (yes, half of my blog posts begin this way), my family would sometimes spend a few days around Christmas in Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia. This was when you could take your...
View Article‘Tis the Season to Be Naughty
These are hard times. I know this because every time I walk into a coffee shop, it is packed with the downtrodden furiously typing on their laptops, still nursing their first latte because it’s not...
View ArticleWe Wish You a Merry X-Mas
When I was at Catholic school, occasionally someone would make the grave mistake of writing Merry X-mas during the holiday season. (I won’t mention who that “someone” was for fear that they have ended...
View ArticleBring a Check Jeanette Isabella
Why, it’s just what I always wanted! I was going to ask for an iPad or unlimited prescriptions at Walgreens but this sounds so much better! It’s the priceless gift of Christmas Future. And you can’t...
View ArticleThe Ghost of Christmas Presents
So it’s the eve of Christmas eve and if you’re anything like me, you’re counting down the days to 2011 by locking yourself in your house and not answering the phone in the hopes that the universe will...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle Bell Slut
I trust everyone enjoyed their holidays with family and friends or, for single women of a certain age, their cats. My in-laws were in town which meant that every moment was spent planning the next...
View ArticleOne Tree Kill
I don’t know how to break this to you so I’m just going to come right out and say it. Obama is trying to tax Christmas into oblivion. Muslim. I first saw this shocking news on Twitter when Phillip...
View ArticleWe Wish You a Perry Christmas
So which one of you declared war on Christmas this time? I am so sick of suiting up in my steel armor and picking up my Knight’s sword to defend my God-given right to perform in a traditional one-woman...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Nobody Puts a Catholic in a Corner
Earlier today as I was hanging ornaments on my imaginary tree because my husband has yet to buy a real one, I decided to order this year’s collectible Texas Capitol Christmas tree ornament in...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Something to Sing About
Yesterday I received a Christmas gift to end all Christmas gifts. Something I’ve been working toward what feels like my entire life. The Gold Level of My Starbucks Rewards. They are sending me a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
May Your Days Be Merry and Bright
When I was a little girl and still believed in Santa Claus (SPOILER!) I made very long, very detailed lists of presents that I wanted because I knew my parents would only get me and my sisters matching...
View Article
